I am scared to answer. I fear it's a test, and any answer will be greeted with, THOU ART WRONG, PUNY MORTAL! I AM FAR MORE IMPRESSIVE THAN HE! and an agonising and slobbery end inside a jagged maw of death.
Hmmm. Are you suggesting that I am myself a cultist of R'lyeh, or that my LJ has been hijacked by eldritch forces...?
I feel that anything like that would have to be down to Cthulhu. I don't think Jörmungandr would care what you thought of him, he'd sleep for ages unnumbered, wake, and then probably drink the world's breweries dry before shouting 'DEATH' and then doing it.
Given that whenever you utter anything remotely critical about books, their authors pop up on your LJ, I don't think this is safe platform for uttering criticisms of beings that have the power to destroy the world. Even if they don't read your LJ or care about our opinion, I bet they have acolytes who monitor the internet and DO care. Flame wars are never good at the best of times, but in this case, the flames are likely to be literal.
I strongly suspect that those Cthulhu plushies you can buy online are actually life-sized models, and He just has a very good PR department with some expert spin doctors. Or a very positive self-image. One or the other.
Also, who would win at what? A good old-fashioned fight to the death, or the Great British Bake-Off (Cthulhu, I think; when it comes to doing fine patisserie work, tentacles win out over smooth armlessness) or the Olympic 100m backstroke or the village hedge-laying competition or One Monster and His Dog? Fights to the Death were all very well in times of yore, but it's the 21st century now, and elder gods and monsters have to be open to alternative ways to prove their worth.
Personally, I was thinking "political race." Not sure who would win that, as I suspect they'd be running on similar platforms. However, I also suspect either would be better than most any political candidate available in the world of wretched mortals today.
Earlier today, I googled for "Cthulhu top trumps," to see if it was a thing. In doing so, I discovered that a political campaign for Cthulhu/Trump is also a thing. So it seems as if Cthulhu has already entered the world of politics...
Methinks Cthulhu is doing himself a disservice in choosing that particular running mate: 1. There are different sorts of evil in this world, and Trump is simply the wrong kind of evil. 2. "Ia! Ia! The Donald fhtagn!" just doesn't have the same ring to it...
Surely smooth armlessness would be an advantage in a lot of baking work - getting a nice even ganache topping, for example, or rolling out a fine bit of pastry?
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I feel that anything like that would have to be down to Cthulhu. I don't think Jörmungandr would care what you thought of him, he'd sleep for ages unnumbered, wake, and then probably drink the world's breweries dry before shouting 'DEATH' and then doing it.
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The idea that The Cloud is actually hosted in Cthulhu's dreaming mind would explain so much.
I probably shouldn't have written that, should I? Unless, it's all a plot to manipulate you in some as yet unknown manner.
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Loeis would know.
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1. There are different sorts of evil in this world, and Trump is simply the wrong kind of evil.
2. "Ia! Ia! The Donald fhtagn!" just doesn't have the same ring to it...
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1) a bit salty
2) fecking enormous.
That said, I understand salted caramel is all the rage, and there are many contexts in which a fecking enormous cake would be extremely welcome.
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I do realise that this probably means nothing to you, but it is a nice accent and one well worth adopting every now and then :-)
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I feel I should leave this here to redress the balance :
Jormungandr & Fenris:
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Unruly commenters! Of them all only wellinghall has actually answered the question.
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To be fair, it IS an extremely difficult question.
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