Symptoms

On the Lemsip box, the contents claims to treat:

• Headache
• Fever
• Blocked Nose
• Body Aches and Pains
• Sore Throat.

It does not mention:

• That feeling as if the top of your head had come off and your brain had become filled with helium, and is now hovering about half a mile up, connected to your body only by the slowest and most tenuous connections.
• Extreme enfeeblement of the upper arms, making one feel like a rather limp Tyrannosaurus Rex.
• whatever that thing is that makes you rub your eyebrows.
• Timeslip effects : sit down for 5 minutes, when you stand up it is three hours later
• The proliferation of typos.