Goodbye beloved Mollydog

[bunn]

I so much hoped that my beautiful Mollydog would recover from her latest illness. She'd been through so many medical problems of one kind or another and always come back strong and happy. I suppose I had begun to hope, despite her age, that she was indestructible.  

But last night she began struggling to breathe and we could not get her comfortable. We rushed her to the vet (who came in specially at half past midnight, poor man).  He thought at first that an emergency operation might be worth a try - which was a terrible dilemma, as I had made up my mind that I didn't want to put her through yet another major surgical procedure.  But in the end she went downhill too fast.  I and philmophlegm were both there to hold her and rub her ears as she was euthanased. 

Molly was supposed to be my dog, but as soon as she came home she decided  philmophlegm was wonderful and she was always convinced she was his dog really - so I'm really glad things worked out that he was here at the end, and feel very lucky that he is the kind of person to understand why that's important. 

I can't tell you how much I loved this dog.   There are some people who think that if you love an animal so much, you somehow waste the emotion, as if you only get so much love in a bucket doled out by order, and have to eke it out.    I think caring is something that it helps to practice, myself, though the heartbreak is terrible today, the memories are still worth it. 

And she was so beautiful. Even sleeping weirdly upside down on the top of the stairs with her head on the next step down.  And loud, and silly and opinionated and greedy and friendly.   
I feel so lucky to have known her. 

  
  
 
 
  
   

Comments

[motetus.livejournal.com]

Oh Bunn, I'm so sorry. She was a beautiful girl and I've loved getting to know her through your photos and stories.

[bunn.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. I've loved sharing her big personality.

[carmarthen.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry--it was very clear from all your posts how much you loved her, and I'm glad you were both able to be there.

[bunn.livejournal.com]

Thanks - it's much appreciated.

[na-lon.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, too, and sad as if I'd known your Mollydog in real life and not just through your stories and photos. I don't believe that love is limited and in no way is loving a dog a waste of emotion. They are part of your family... Thank you for sharing Mollydog's story and life with us.

[bunn.livejournal.com]

Thank you - I have loved sharing her many oddities with you, and I really appreciate the message of support.

[endlessrarities.livejournal.com]

That's terribly sad news. I'm very sorry to hear it. I can't say I'm altogether surprised, because she really sounded quite poorly, but you did your very best for her, and that's all that matters really, isn't it?

And you gave her a splendid eulogy. We shall raise a glass of wine to her tonight...

[bunn.livejournal.com]

Oh Mollydog, I miss you so much. It's not been quite two weeks since I lost you, and I'm just starting to get used to there being no morning greyhound song and dance, nobody reminding me that it's time for a walk or time for tea. No ears as soft as yours.

I hope you don't mind that I adopted another dog. It doesn't mean I love you any less. All the other dogs seem small and quiet compared to you and your big dark eyes and your strong opinions about everything.

I feel terribly guilty that I didn't give you the stomach operation. It probably wouldn't have saved you. I don't think it would have done, and I would have had to leave you at the vet and probably never see you again, and you would have hated us walking away. At least this way we were both there at the end to hold you.