The joy of spam

[bunn]

My spam volume has dropped off a little lately, so I am better able to enjoy it.

Today, for example, I have received an invitation to upsize my babymaker (what a delightful, if somewhat single-perspective term). Another euphemism I particularly like is 'rooster-challenged'. I also got an offer of 'Strength, smoothness and shine'. SHINE? Really? (and, no, it wasn't a shampoo ad.)

I have also been told that a tiny dimension is my hidden shame, which suggests that I must have been inadvertently doing something terrible in a pocket universe.

On Friday I had to phone a client to advise him not to refer to rabbits in his Easter newsletter headline. He uses a spam filter, and I was pretty sure that if I emailled him to explain why rabbit-related subject lines tend to get lost in filters, then my own warning email would never reach him.

Comments

[purplecat]

I always get a terrible urge to respond to emails: "I'm glad you liked the picture you saw of me online, many lesbians are afraid to make contact in this way" and have to remind myself that the sender so isn't interested in my sarky responses.

I spent some minutes recently talking myself out of responding to a spam offering to improve the multi-lingual profile of the Liverpool CS web pages (with which I have no involvement apart from being employed by Liverpool CS) a response which would have read along the lines of "even if the powers that be were concerned about their multi-lingual profile the fact you have emailed a non-permanent junior member of of staff hardly instills confidence in your abilities as a marketer". I think it was the comparative novelty of the spam that increased my desire to respond to it...

[ladyofastolat.livejournal.com]

One of the producers of Stargate Atlantis creates pretend identities (e.g. Baron Destructo of the League of Aliens and Mutants, or the Cookie Monster) specifically to reply to spam. He's had some rather hilarious correspondences going. He's recently put them all on a blog here (http://spambait.wordpress.com/).

[smirnoffmule.livejournal.com]

LMAO!

[chainmailmaiden]

babymaker

Nooooo! What a dreadful term, it's (almost) enough to put me off sex!

[parrot-knight.livejournal.com]

I particularly like the concept of spammers warning about misadventure in pocket universes. Perhaps this will be the next variant on the Nigerian scam - high returns guaranteed from a parallel dimension?