bunn

Con candidate looks creepy and dreary despite best attempt at a grin. Posing with toddlers, who look wary, and wisely so. I would be wary around that woman too. I would not want to buy a car off her, nor would I trust her cake.

UKIP looks cheery and likeable, and rather like my mum. Sensible 'economy' leaflet that doubles as a small poster, nice use of limited resources there. You'd eat a cake cooked by this woman, and be confident it would be delicious. Her car is probably a bit battered, but I bet it's a good runner and the oil is changed regularly.

No Lib Dem leaflets! And after all those personally addressed letters they sent me, I wonder why? Run out of money?

No Green, anywhere to be seen. Well, that's probably nicely consistent, anyway, Greens should eschew paper...

Mebyon Kernow candidate looks slightly loony, but in a fuzzy, hamsterish sort of way. He looks a bit like George RR Martin, actually. Considerable improvement over last election where all MK candidates were quite clearly undead. I would probably not buy his car, which is probably made of wood and rubber bands, but would I eat a cake made by him? Yes, probably, though I'd probably want to discuss his choice of ingredients first to make sure he hadn't decided to chuck in a handful of nettles as an experiment.

Am actually considering voting MK this time round for some pretty frivolous reasons.

- A Cornish Nationalist MP would add to the general gaiety of affairs
- he'd have to be a good constituency MP, cos he'd have nothing else to do.
- He almost certainly woudn't be elected, but then I would feel free to grumble happily at whatever government we end up with, safe in the knowledge that I didn't help put them there.
- he looks nice and cheery.

Actually, these would all be arguments for a UKIP vote too.

Goodness, I do hope most voters are more responsible than I am...