Olympic opening ceremony
Dec. 7th, 2011 01:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I think I'm with Paula Radcliffe on this one. An extra £41 million on razzmatazz for - not even a sporting event, just the introduction to a sporting event - seems a bit pointless. And really, not very British either. I mean, OK, the Chinese had fireworks. But they invented fireworks. They're entitled. Fireworks may be fun, but when it comes down to it, it's just a really loud way to burn money.
Surely a more typically British way of doing things would be to halve the budget and then somehow manage to muddle through with something that to everyone's surprise actually kind of works.
Things I think would be cheap and should feature in a truly British opening ceremony.
1) rain & mud
2) people talking loudly about the weather, and how there's no really bad sorts, only the wrong clothes (I suspect this is a less popular view in tornado & drought-ravaged countries)
3) tea, scones, beer and chicken tikka masala
4) randomised bureaucracy - maybe there would be pre-emptive feedback forms or something that the audience would have to wave in a synchronised manner.
5) music
6) the sea
7) whinging, sarcasm and comments that appear polite but have a dark inner meaning.
8) The class system
9) Britain in Bloom (an organisation which brings together most of 1-8)
How could this fail to be an opening ceremony discussed with excitement, confusion, suspicion and delighted disappointment for 999 days to come?
Surely a more typically British way of doing things would be to halve the budget and then somehow manage to muddle through with something that to everyone's surprise actually kind of works.
Things I think would be cheap and should feature in a truly British opening ceremony.
1) rain & mud
2) people talking loudly about the weather, and how there's no really bad sorts, only the wrong clothes (I suspect this is a less popular view in tornado & drought-ravaged countries)
3) tea, scones, beer and chicken tikka masala
4) randomised bureaucracy - maybe there would be pre-emptive feedback forms or something that the audience would have to wave in a synchronised manner.
5) music
6) the sea
7) whinging, sarcasm and comments that appear polite but have a dark inner meaning.
8) The class system
9) Britain in Bloom (an organisation which brings together most of 1-8)
How could this fail to be an opening ceremony discussed with excitement, confusion, suspicion and delighted disappointment for 999 days to come?
no subject
Date: 2011-12-07 04:52 pm (UTC)Sounds good to me.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-07 07:38 pm (UTC)The Scottish team meanwhile could go up to them and give each one a Glasgow Kiss...
no subject
Date: 2011-12-07 08:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-07 08:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-08 08:17 am (UTC)I think the WI should do all the Olympic catering.
Also, it should feature some of those traditional British sports that for some reason have been excluded from the contest itself: cheese rolling, knobbly knees contest etc etc.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-08 11:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-07 07:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-07 07:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-07 10:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-08 08:38 am (UTC)It would be undeniably British. And I'm sure it wouldnt' cost £81million!
no subject
Date: 2011-12-08 08:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-07 08:43 pm (UTC)Bring out the rhythm gymnastics athletes to perform a routine with red tape?
no subject
Date: 2011-12-07 08:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-07 10:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-08 11:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-08 03:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-08 03:30 pm (UTC)Possibly appearing with a D-list Celebriteee and Lord Sugar.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-08 08:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-08 07:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-15 08:35 pm (UTC)And I'm with you on the fireworks...
no subject
Date: 2011-12-30 01:43 am (UTC)also yes to tea and Tikka Masala. The British gifts to the world. I do hope there's some left when I get there...
no subject
Date: 2011-12-30 09:19 am (UTC)*rejects*
:-D
You will just have to flee the Loathesome Wen as fast as possible and go somewhere nice instead. :-D
no subject
Date: 2011-12-30 04:57 pm (UTC)