Not quite a week

[bunn]

Az has been getting steadily wobblier and more tired since my last update, and his heart and breathing were clearly troubling him.  I decided yesterday that enough was enough: he was no longer able to enjoy life, he was just going on existing, in a tired, worn-out kind of way.  It was very hard to make the choice, when the decline was so gradual, but as my mother told me when I rang her to share my woe, this is the responsibility that comes when you have power of life and death over another being : you make his life good as long as you can, and then you give him a good death.  Pp and I agreed that time had come for Az, which was reassuring.

He had a tiny walk in the sunshine this morning, steak for lunch, and then as the sun was going down, we took him to be put to sleep. We stopped on the way for a short sniff in one of his favorite spots, but he didn't have the heart to wobble more than a few steps, and we knew it was time.  It was very quick and easy: he was very very tired.

Az was a very frightened dog when we first adopted him.  So many things worried him: traffic noise. being alone, lorries, people with sticks, rolls of wallpaper, groups of people, children...  It has been wonderful to see him grow into a calm old dog who was, I think, happy most of the time.  I'm sad it's over, but in a way I feel I've been saying goodbye to Az for almost two years now, and this last year has been something of an unexpected bonus.

Comments

[ningloreth.livejournal.com]

Aw. Your mother put it perfectly. And what a lovely last day you gave him. I can see from the pictures he was a beautiful dog.

[rolls of wallpaper That's a chilling thought, isn't it?]

[bunn.livejournal.com]

Thanks - he was indeed beautiful.

Really, he was scared of anything long enough to hit a dog with, it was very sad. In his last week when he was so thin, you could actually see where his rib had been broken all those years ago. But thank goodness, it did get forgotten, with time - the time when we were gardening and I cut a stick and he grabbed the end to play with it, I cried. And the first time he approached a stranger with a walking stick I almost hugged the poor guy. When I explained, this complete stranger was so thrilled. :-D